Judgement Day: How to deal with people judging your choices

When you live your truth people often do not understand your actions and resist your choices. It appears as if they are placing judgement on you and, when it’s people you love, it can be absolutely painful to remain true to what you believe is right for you.

I see it happening all around me in the lives of others. It comes in all different forms. Maybe you decided to leave an abusive relationship but your abuser was so good at manipulating the situation that nobody believes your side of the story and all of your support walks away. Sometimes it shows up less drastically, like deciding to unfriend a person who is draining your energy and no longer serves your highest purpose. All of your friends become confused by your actions and think you are irrational, but most the time that person’s true colours shine through and the rest of your friends clue into your decision much farther down the road.

There was one scenario that I witnessed this play out in my own life. It was when I decided to break up with my now ex-fiancé in 2009. It was an incredibly difficult decision because I did truly love him, but there were a lot of things that we both needed to learn about life and ourselves, and I knew that we couldn’t learn to do this as a couple. (That is the simple version of it).

Breaking up with someone you love is very difficult to do especially when there are children involved. I knew that I had to make a decision about how the relationship between him and my son would play out. I decided that I wanted my son to know that just because you break-up it doesn’t have to be negative. It does not have to exclude love.
When I decided that this person would remain a big part of my son’s life I faced huge, HUGE, resistance from friends and family. They spoke to me as if I knew nothing about my own life, my relationships and my ability to make decisions for my son’s happiness. It was awful!

Society and media often preach to the masses ideas such as if you are single mother when you break-up you most definitely should walk away. If you keep the children involved it will screw them up. I was patronised and looked down on but I had to remain strong because I knew in my heart that this was the best decision for my child, and for myself.
Years later, those same people probably don’t even remember the resistance they projected on to my life and that situation. They now only see the happy outcome. My ex sends him postcards from all over the world as he travels and experiences new adventures with his new wife. My son feels loved by him. That was the only outcome I was looking for and it was successful.

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So, how do we face judgement from the ones we love? The answer is, not easily. You have to remind yourself every day that you are a strong intelligent person who knows what is right for you. Seek comfort from friends and family who understand you. Let yourself feel disappointed, because truthfully being judged really sucks. Remember that it is their problem, not yours. Take responsibility for what you know is true and throw away the rest, you do not owe them an explanation for your choices.
Remember, you are your own life coach and the answers can always be found within. Even when they are clouded by intense feelings of rejection or the misrepresentation of who you are, your own truth will always set you free.

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