Dear Cara, How do I deal with haters online?

Dear Cara,     

I create an online make-up tutorial. I have so much fun making my series. Recently there have been haters commenting on my site and telling me I am ugly and that my show sucks. I try not to let it bother me but sometimes it really does. I am a little heavier than the average girl but I love make-up and teaching people how to do use colour in different ways. I don’t want to stop but I feel so depressed when I read the awful comments. What should I do?

 Sincerely,

Hating Haters

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Dear Hating Haters,

Aren’t haters the worst!? I can empathize because I get them all the time on some of my videos. I have a sign that sits near my desk that reads, “Whatever you do, don’t feed the trolls!” If you feed them they just become more aggressive and cruel and stick around longer. Reading the comments on your videos can be both empowering and deflating. It’s interesting how we can receive 100 positive comments but we naturally obsess over that one negative person who didn’t like what we had to say. I have had quite a few professional speakers admit to these feelings as well, you are not alone.107320-full

The reality is that if you put yourself out there on social media these days you will get haters. Unfortunately, as women, the internet can be a savage playground for misogyny. But, guess what? These people who are being complete a@#holes do not have their own show with a growing fan base. Instead they just have a computer they hide behind with nothing better to do but post negative things on your sight. One exercise I do that makes me feel better is I write down their negative comment and then I reverse it and read it out loud to myself. For example, “Cara you are an ugly b%$th with no talent,” I will write, “Cara you are a beautiful amazing person who brings great things to the world.” It may seem silly but trust me, it actually makes you feel better. Keep rocking your show and loving the process of your creative pursuit and whatever you do ,”Don’t feed the trolls!”.

Love & Light

Cara

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Cara Jones is an international award-winning short-documentary filmmaker, an award-winning mixed media artist, a youth advocate, author, blogger & podcaster. As a youth and community engagement advocate Cara captivates her audience by sharing her experience in media literacy, Media & Social Justice, Community Engagement & Capturing Lived Experiences as well as Conscious Living Through Inter-connectivity.

One thought on “Dear Cara, How do I deal with haters online?

  1. Ahh lovely advice! and for those who make it a habit to be negative and mean, well it’s damaging to their own mental health! all those ‘hater’ neurons multiplying so that it becomes default behaviour…it really blocks the flow of creativity and joy! My daughter is constantly watching videos of makeup tips and can’t get enough of them! “Hating Haters” is doing so much good for the world! Good on her!

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